Shelving Doubt: Essy Barroso-Ramirez Tackles Imposter Phenomenon for First-Generation Scholars

When Essy Barroso-Ramirez published her latest article “Imposter phenomenon as a first gen scholar” in a journal and digital platform for women of color in librarianship, one of the first people she texted was Eva Acosta, her retired Cabrillo College academic counselor. Though it had been years since Barroso-Ramirez earned five associate’s degrees from Cabrillo, she’d never forgotten how her counselor had made her feel.

“I will always credit her because she’s been really pivotal in my life,” says Barroso-Ramirez, ’18 Public Health, ’21 MLIS, ’27 EdD, who has served as a research services and social sciences librarian at San José State’s Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Library since 2022. As a first-generation community college student, Barroso-Ramirez had worried that “no one cared” about earning associate’s degrees. “Eva taught me that education counts, no matter what degree you pursue.”

Acosta’s powerful message hit home for Barroso-Ramirez, whose interests varied from nursing and public health to bilingual and bicultural education. While pursuing her degrees, she worked in the Santa Cruz Public Library system as well as at the Cabrillo College Library. Libraries had always offered her safe haven; as an elementary schooler she often spent her recesses reading aloud under the kind eyes of school librarians. 

Libraries also offered critical access to information in multiple languages. Throughout her years with the Santa Cruz Public Libraries, she was dedicated to serving Latinx, native Spanish-speaking families and patrons. Barroso-Ramirez, along with SCPL colleague Lorena López Rivera, partnered with Santa Cruz County nonprofit Community Bridges to serve two of their preschool sites. Together they created a new bilingual storytime program in Santa Cruz called Cuentitos. 

Though she initially pictured herself serving communities through public health, after she completed her bachelor’s degree at San José State she realized how a career in librarianship could combine her passions for supporting first-generation scholars in any discipline. She enrolled in the master’s in information and library science program at SJSU.

Rewriting the first-generation narrative

Barroso-Ramirez sees spaces like the King Library as offering unique opportunities for students, staff and faculty members alike. She hopes her research and service will help shift the narrative about first-generation students and faculty in higher education and beyond.

“First-gen students can be successful,” she says. “It is a long and hard road for some of us, while it may not be for others. I think one of the most important things for students who might identify with me is to seek out mentors, because if I hadn’t had the mentors I did, I don’t know if I’d be here. I know I have the capacity, but I don’t think I would have believed as much in my own capacity if I hadn’t seen my potential reflected in someone who already ‘made it.’ For me at least, it was more impactful to hear a message of ‘you can do this’ from someone who looks like me or might be similar to me, than it is to hear it from someone who can’t relate.”

Barroso-Ramirez found many mentors at SJSU who have instilled messages of positivity and encouragement, including Associate Professor of Humanities Cynthia Rostankowski; former Adelante and Underrepresented Minorities Student Success Coordinator Itza Sanchez, ’04 Anthropology, ’17 Cultural Leadership; Information and Library Science Lecturer Frank Torres; and Assistant Professor of Information and Library Science Michele A. L. Villagran. Because one major hurdle in addressing the imposter phenomenon is knowing who and when to ask for help, she says it helps to know she has mentors like these in her corner.

Expanding horizons

Luckily, a library has many “corners.” As an academic librarian, Barroso-Ramirez fulfills multiple roles simultaneously. First and foremost, she is a resource for anyone visiting King Library, while also offering specialized research assistance for SJSU faculty, students and staff in the communication studies and political science departments. As a tenure-track faculty member, she’s also focused on conducting and publishing research, and as a doctoral student in the Connie L. Lurie College of Education’s educational leadership program, Barroso-Ramirez is formulating a dissertation in practice, or a research project based on real-world problems.

While her doctoral research journey is still in its early stages, Barroso-Ramirez aims to study the experiences of first-generation academic librarians of color. Once a first-generation student has graduated with a degree, they face another set of “firsts” in the workplace that can be challenging to navigate.

“While my own personal lived experience is not monolithic by any means, I feel like I’ve experienced how first-generation students are treated a certain way,” she says. “There are programs specifically designed to help first-gen students, but when you cross into the world of academia, we are still first-generation; as my advisor, Dr. Maria Ledesma says, being ‘first-generation’ is a continuum. For me personally, while there’s been a lot of support and orientation, it would be nice if there were more programs designed for first-generation academics and tenure-track faculty.

“I want to look at how imposter phenomenon affects specifically Latinx or BIPOC academic librarians,” she continues. “As an already underrepresented, marginalized group of people, entering the ivory tower [of higher education institutions] can feel really exclusionary and elitist. Who gets to determine what information is accessible, and who gets to disseminate that information? In what languages?”

One way to address these big questions is to make the library a more inclusive and diverse space.

In fall 2023, she curated Bailando Con Orgullo, an exhibition in the King Library’s Africana, Asian American, Chicano, and Native American Studies Center (AAACNA) that celebrated San José’s first LGBTQ+ folclórico group, Ensamble Folclórico Colibrí. A dancer herself, Barroso-Ramirez is proud to share Colibrí’s inclusive message.

“Art in the form of dance is cultural reinforcement, too,” she says. “Colibrí doesn’t adhere to traditional gender norms, which is really groundbreaking. Traditionally in Mexico, if you’re a woman, you wear a skirt, and if you’re a male-presenting person, you wear boots. There is no right or wrong way to perform art.”

And perhaps, as her community college guidance counselor suggested, there’s no right or wrong way to pursue an education, either.