Dillon Gadoury is the A.S. Director of Communications. In this Spartan Voice by A.S. Blog, Dillon shares his story on Life-Long Learning, one of eight Core Values in the Associated Students Strategic Plan. Read more about our organization’s values in the A.S. Strategic Plan here.
A Love Letter!
There was only one thing about school that reassured me in knowing that everything was going to be okay. It was never because of the friends I made or the good grades I never got. It wasn’t because of that FAFSA check or the cute girls in any of my classes. It was the understanding that there was always another year to look forward to. Whether it was the jump to being the big 5th grader of my elementary school or the long-anticipated move of being a frosh in college, there was always a future version of me to chase.
As I write this now in my final year of school, higher education or whatever you want to call it, I know now that the future served as a symbol of a second chance. A second opportunity to prove myself or at least be that person I wish I would’ve been. These past seventeen years of learning are now coming to a close as I get ready to graduate on what seems to be the scariest stage of my life; a stage that once I cross is going to end the only constant theme in my life: school. And as much as I got into trouble, failed tests or lied to my teachers, school somehow wrapped its arms around me and quite possibly gave me the best childhood that I could have ever imagined.
I think some of us take it all for granted. What a joy to learn and grow up alongside my childhood best friends simply because of the same school we go to; and then we get to repeat that all over again. Everyone told me to “make the most of your college years.” They said “it’s going to fly by,” and those people were absolutely right. Four years later, I look back now and see my inner child rooting for younger Dillon in all those moments I doubted myself.
Despite the chaotic journey that school has shown me, I’ve been able to actually learn quite a few things. Here are some of those things I wish younger Dillon learned sooner.
Put Fear in Your Daily Toolkit
Fear gets a pretty bad rep. When was the last time someone said, “Oh I love fear!” or “Fear is the best thing ever!” Probably never. Fear holds you back from a lot of things. It makes you second guess yourself and puts anxiety on the forefront of your actions and any decision making. But if you’ve ever dipped into that fear, you’ll realize that fear is the only thing in this world that is constantly looking out for you; leverage that.
I’m a firm believer that the best things in life are placed on the other side of fear. When we allow fear to dictate our actions, we limit ourselves and miss out on potentially life-changing opportunities. That’s why the point of maximum fear is also the point of maximum growth. You’re now challenging yourself to be in an unfamiliar environment doing something you would have never done; and that is amazing. Finally joining that one club you’ve been telling yourself to join, traveling to an unfamiliar city or even letting that girl know you have a crush on her, these are moments filled with fear, but also pure bliss. There were many times I let fear dictate moments of my college experience. It all started four years ago moving away from my chosen family to SJSU, with a stranger for a roommate, and no friends to fall back on. Until you realize that everything about college elicits fear, you’ll then realize that nothing can hold you back.
Every day we hope to grow into a future version of ourselves that we can be proud of. Leverage fear in your daily toolkit as a reminder that you are challenging yourself and taking strides towards that future version of yourself you’re chasing.
Chase that future version of yourself
It’s funny the way life works. I always dreamed about going to school in New York City, and if not that, maybe the idea of living there one day when I graduated college or figured my life out. That dream was always there in high school and stayed in the back of my head throughout college. Crazy thing is, here I am 25 days before I graduate college, and 28 days before I move to New York City to start my dream job. Yet, here I am still chasing a version of myself that I am not yet satisfied with. I’m chasing the future version of me that is already there in the city with all of his friends, maybe in his cozy apartment and working hard at his new job.
A year ago, I chased the current me. The Dillon that was about to graduate college, the Dillon that had a good head on his shoulders, and the Dillon that is currently writing this blog. Chasing the future version of ourselves is a great thing, maybe the best thing. It leaves us unsatisfied with what is, but goes after what could be. It’s a gentle reminder that no matter what has already been said and done, there will always be another page to look forward to in whatever chapter you’re in. I learned to chase that future version of me every year of school on the baseline of a K-12 school system.
Everyday, week, month, and year of my life, I was always looking forward to another version of myself; a future me that was maybe more successful or even a little happier. My hero was that future version. I’m never going to be my own hero. I’m never going to attain that, and that’s just alright with me. That future version of myself will always be 10 steps ahead in my timeline. That version of me who I could have only dreamt of days, weeks, months or years before, keeps me chasing.
Dreaming with eyes wide open
So many of us, myself included, give up on our passions and aspirations because they seem unattainable or don’t fit within our given timeline. We imagine a future where we have achieved our goals, where we are happy and fulfilled. But the truth is, a lot of us only see these dreams when we close our eyes. Screw that. Having a dream or passion that you love is so rare to find, never give it up.
I always hear people say “I wish this” or “I would do that but.” They already lost. High school me loved making music, graphic design, film, art, all of the above! In the middle of everything college threw at me, I gave up on a lot of those things. I got caught up on homework, my social battery, professional development, and everything that comes with growing up. Underneath it all, I always craved that inner-child of mine who loved creating art! I always craved living in a world where I could just focus on those passions and nothing else. Dreaming with your eyes wide open means holding onto those aspirations and working towards them every day. It means believing in yourself and your abilities when nobody else will.
If there is one person reading this or maybe even 10, please please, please, be selfish about doing what you love! Bet on yourself! Be your biggest advocate! You gotta do what makes you happy, no one is going to do it for you.
Conclusion
I recognize that everything I’ve mentioned here is a lot easier said than done. It took me 21 years of hard-earned empathy, challenging perspectives, and lots of listening to get to where I am now.
I’d like to extend my unwavering gratitude to everyone that has been a part of my journey, big or small. 18-year-old me came into college timid and scared of what could be. I leave now full of ambitions with an attitude in my willingness to learn and grow.
To my childhood best friends Mike, Ti, and Nam, I love you guys more than life; thank you for constantly being my rock.
