Kai Rapanot is the A.S. Vice President. In this Spartan Voice by A.S. Blog, Kai shares his story on Self-Awareness and Life Long Learning, two of eight Core Values in the Associated Students Strategic Plan. Read more about our organization’s values in the A.S. Strategic Plan here.
It’s a tall task to go out on a limb and write a blog post for an audience with the magnitude that a university campus provides; hard enough that I am in a position that can pique the general population’s curiosity in what I have to say. Yet regardless of it, we push forward; we do the things we are asked to do; we are expected to see it as a courtesy, as a sign of respect that we can meet the expectations that others place on us.
The oft-quoted line “heavy is the head that wears the crown” is interesting to me, because in a modern society that colloquially calls themselves “Kings and Queens” do we now not all bear the crown of responsibility? It’s no wonder this generation has back problems. We have to carry the weight of our own aspirations, while shackled by the weight of living life for past generations and/or setting up for future ones.
People always ask how I managed to become what I’ve become, as if following every minute detail of my life would ensure success in theirs. I am not a worthy enough person to mimic, nor are my accomplishments a doctrine of success. We treat success and moreover successful people as a pedestal of life. My titles and organizations are good for a resume. It lends me the credibility to stand before a group and take charge, but what good does it do for my character other than to pervert it in some vainglorious attempt to reach the pinnacle of success?
I am aware that a title can make a person nowadays. Some seek a piece of paper that deems us valid enough to warrant a second glance in the eyes of employers and god-willing larger corporations. We have transcended past the need to be a good person, and to teach those around us the ability to be generous, respectful, and kind. We are instead flooded with ways to be alpha, to be perfect, to be fake.
I often stare at a picture of myself from the 5th Grade, and I wonder if I truly have become someone that he would look up to; if I have achieved this whimsical ideal of success in his eyes. I think a lot of us do similar things. My hesitations with success are not because I do not seek financial freedom for my parents, it’s not because I don’t understand the steps it took for my ancestors to supplant themselves in a foreign land. My hesitations are bred off the back of my life-long commitment to be authentic to myself.
Authenticity means that you should strive to be substantial enough that your shadow doesn’t regret following you. But that doesn’t mean you have to have fancy titles or give grand gestures to be substantial. The people we claim to be in our memoirs will always be overshadowed by the characters we play in other people’s narratives. This is self-awareness, to understand what is expected of you, to understand that in life there will be many boxes attempting to mold you, some of them good, some of them bad. But nevertheless, you act according to you.
I always chuckle at the fact that some of the most revered quotes in the modern era come from fictional sources. In that same vein, I believe that it was Master Oogway that said, “One often meets their destiny, on the roads they take to avoid it.” So maybe sooner, maybe later, we all eventually will come to the crossroads of deciding who we are going to be, and that’s a decision that we have to make. Whether we choose to be the next someone else or be the first of our own kind.